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This is my kind of night

Travis, the guys, and I are together right now at Travis' place just hanging out and having a fucking blast. We ordered like a million pizzas and we've just been having drinks and watching TV and jamming every now and then. No new material or anything, just fucking around with silly riffs and stuff. I'll never get tired of hanging around with these dudes.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before, but Travis and I play Magic: The Gathering and we're fucking HARDCORE about it. My deck is all Black and Travis has all sorts of shit in his. We've been playing for, fuck, like 15 years? We started in high school. But we hadn't played in a while so we broke out the decks tonight and started playing again and it's been so much fucking fun.

This is from our game right now. I took this (with Dave's hands in the way) so the cards you see here are all from my deck. My deck will FUCK YOU UP. Seriously, dude, swamps are fucking dangerous and if you challenge me I'm coming for you.
Rinse. Repeat.

But dear creepers: my body does not belong to you.

And you know what, I will hug all of you in the merch line if I can. I'll sign body parts - to a point. But stop grabbing my ass. Stop trying to cop a feel.

I repeat: my body does not belong to you.

And guess what, you slip those fucking slurs into your grabbing of my ass, I'll show you exactly how pissed off a Chicana can get.

I hate, absolutely hate, that I need to have these venting sessions. Because 99% of the people we meet are so amazing. But there's always that one.

JJ swears he's seen this guy before.

I'm just bored

If you haven't already, go see Inside Out. Seriously. But be prepared to feel feelings. I was sort of emotionally destroyed by the time I got out of it.

Joy is my spirit animal. But Sadness kind of is, too. And Disgust. I mean, all of them, really.

In other news: want to see something really fucking bizarre?

Yeah. This is me. In a paparazzi picture. Just walking down the street. Apparently people think I'm noteworthy enough to take pictures of me walking to get my mail and meet friends for coffee? I posted this one because my hair was on point in this shot. Fun fact: those sunglasses I'm wearing almost got me evicted from my apartment the month I bought them. How was I supposed to know the price-tag was wrong and they were actually $500?!!

So love finally fucking won

So the U.S. finally fucking made marriage equality a thing and it took them fucking long enough. I could fill this entire post with cynicism and shit but the truth is I'm mostly just really fucking happy for all of the people that finally get to get married.

It affected us at the shelter, too. Christian finally popped the question to his long-time boyfriend the day the ruling came out. And I can't tell you how amazing it was to watch the news reports about it and listen to how happy the kids were. So many of our kids come from environments where they were abused, threatened, or just unwelcome because of their sexuality, and there were more than a few tears when they learned that some day they'll be able to marry whoever they love just like everyone should be able to.

And... I was also proposed to by a six year-old and it was basically the sweetest thing ever. After we watched the ruling and someone explained to her what it meant, she came up to me, handed me her stuffed Spider-Man (it looks something like this one), and told me she didn't have a ring but now that she could she wanted to marry me.

I think my brain short-circuited after that.

At least no one can blame my turning her down on my commitment issues this time. I gave her back Spidey and told her one day she'll find her princess charming and sent her on her way.

You know, just average day-to-day shelter stuff.

How the fuck does that work?

Next time someone's life is in danger, I'm going to let them fucking die. This crazed... I don't even know what it was, exactly... just appeared right the fuck in the middle of the group home. It was drawn by Crystal and her own weirdness, and it was gonna kill her. Without even thinking about it, I stepped in front of Crystal because I didn't give a shit if the thing tried to kill me.

The thing didn't get to me because I used my magic to fight it off. Not even a scratch on me, which would be impressive if I cared. I don't. Fighting a nightmare creature from out of nowhere is one thing, but sucking out its lifeforce because you just can't help yourself is another.

Yeah, I stole the thing's lifeforce because that's what I've been trained to do. I didn't even think about it because when a monster's trying to kill people, you don't really think. Fuck my shitty instincts.

When Crystal had stopped screaming, she called ME a monster. I barely heard her because I ran and hid in a closet. Absorbing lifeforce makes me act... weird, and I didn't wanna be around anyone once I realized what I'd done.

Rumor travels faster than the speed of light because every single fucking person knew what I'd done by the end of the day. If I thought they'd hated me before, they hated me even worse after. What the fuck?

I save someone's life, and everyone hates me MORE? How the fuck does that work?

Jul. 6th, 2015

I've been thinking about all the reasons why I wanted to come out here.  So far, Chris loves it, my kids love it.  I'm confident it was the right choice for our family.  But my day today gave me a slightly different perspective.

On my way back to Albuquerque from Las Cruces, my truck broke down.  In the middle of nowhere.  And my first thought was "oh shit does my radio still work?"  And it did.  But I still had to wait.  And I sat there and sat there and sat there.  And I started thinking about something Christina said over the weekend.  She was teasing me because we ended up in Texas instead of Roswell.  She made a joke about finding our dried bodies.  It was funny at the time.  But as I'm sitting there, way up on a hill far from the truck, I started thinking, "what if they forget to come?" and "what if they don't see me up here?" and "what if they think I walked back to the city?"  Things like that.  I worked myself into a panic.  I'd convinced myself someone was going to come up from behind and drag me out into the desert.

The tow truck eventually showed up and I obviously got home okay, but it left me drained.  And it got me thinking.  Maybe I was drawn to this place to face my demons.  I spent a few days in Mexico last year, I faced the biggest ones, the ones that tower over me.  And then in Guatemala, I found myself and I found my spirit and my soul and my life.  So here I am, to face the more everyday monsters, the ones that I know live under our bed and on dark, desert highways at night.  These are the smaller monsters who live in bars and stand out in my truck's headlights.

It's not el chupacabra.

work, sleep, repeat ..

I love, love, love, love, love, love, love this internship. I hate how much being an adult costs. :p

Seriously, I love what I'm doing and I have this idea that's percolating about ways to make the recording world accessible to kids without the privilege to access it. But I'm not quite sure where I'm going with it yet.

But the internship means I'm closing down the bar, which means I'm getting about 3 hours of sleep right now. But, they are moving me from tables to the bar, which is good for my money if not for my sleeping habits.

And nights like last night - TOTALLY KICK ASS. Go TEAM USA!!!!! :D

And ... it's finished!

Below the cut you will find the COMPLETE comment fic prompt and response list. (Please let me know if anything leads to the wrong link, etc.)

I want to thank everyone who started off on conversations, who replied, and who fed trolls while writing. :) Now, PLEASE take the time to read through these, to reply to people who filled prompts. Remember, writers need encouragement. It makes the world go round.

You will see that some prompts were not filled. And I know that some of us (myself included) still had some works in progress that just were not finished by the deadline. You are still welcome to post your responses, but after this post goes up, there will not be another reminder about it. So if you want someone to see your response, make sure you tag or PM them. :)

Thanks again! Y'all rock!


somewhere between ...

So we were standing in line to It's a Small World, (because I enjoy torturing papi), and I realized he was crying. Not like crazy tears but those really typical guy tears where you push your fingers into your eyes and make it seem like you aren't crying. That you're just rubbing your eyes.

So of course I started to freak out, right? And he took my hand and we got out of line and we walked over to the Carnation Plaza and ordered ice cream. We're sitting there for a long time and he keeps telling me he's fine when all of a sudden he says that this is the first July we've ever been on tour together.

All of the years we've done Skidfest, all of the times we've toured together, somehow ... I've never been on tour with papi on the anniversary of "the incident." The thing that put me in a coma and then in the psych ward. That thing. Yeah, the incident.

He was on tour that day. Mami had to work late. He was on tour.

And yesterday, over melting ice cream, he told me how nervous this whole thing has made him, because what if I have some meltdown and he can't fix it. But he also told me he's proud of me. And that he never expected when it happened that I'd be doing what I am today.

And then we were both crying. Gah.

The anniversary of it is still a couple of days away but ... it hit me is all. I'm sure I'll ramble about it at some point. I'm kind of good at that. Really good at it. The stress has got to go somewhere, right?

But on the 8th, before our show, I'm taking him with me and we're going to get to a tattoo parlor and I'm going to get a new tattoo to cover the scars.

This one is just us. For us. Because I love my father so much. He had ever reason to give up on me and he never did. He's still teaching me. Still helping me. Still getting me through the crazy. Every day.

Anyway. I had a minute and he's on stage and I just had to get that out.

Love him.

Jul. 5th, 2015

Let's see. I am the designated tour updater tonight. I have no idea where the fuck we are and Lang is ready to kill all of us, though mostly me.

She woke up this morning with Running Up That Hill stuck in her head. Which, I guess, isn't so unusual. But for her band, it's a 10 year old song and they haven't played it in nearly that long. I've never played it and I don't know it. But there are two of us on guitar and with a few chords, I can fake my way through.

Lang said there was this whole crazy, vivid dream to go along with this song and so she made the decision to add it to tonight's set list. And because she's a perfectionist and a slave driver, we spent all day getting it perfect. Because, you know, rust does not perform well.

I should stop snarking before I get in more trouble.

In all honesty, I'd have done the same if it had been my decision. And I know she's not feeling well. She's exhausted and still somehow managed to not sleep well last night. She thinks it's the heat and the sun and going in and out of the AC. It's not even 9 yet and she's already got her light out.

She still managed to put in 110%. Which makes me feel like an ass because. Well. This isn't about me. Just watch the really crappy video from the venue.

I'm going to bed with this song stuck in my head.

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July 2015



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