Tom is still staying with his sponsor. The two week mark for him to evaluate things was last Sunday, and none of us were quite ready. Today it's been three weeks, and today in particular things have been a lot harder, what with it being Father's Day. The kids are... they're almost ready to trust him. But him knowing they still don't breaks his heart. I can hear it in his voice and see it in his face when he talks with them on their video calls. He says he's doing better, and he looks better. But both his sponsor and his therapist think he needs more time away, and he's trying to be okay with it.
Today was hard. Wednesday- Caleb's birthday- will be hard. Even though I'm still not particularly comfortable with the idea of him being around... because I'm still getting over the trauma of it myself... I don't want it to be the end of our family. Maybe I'm weak, maybe I should want to file for divorce and be done with my marriage... but I still love the idiot. He's never truly gotten over his own traumas, and I really do believe if he starts working through them... the stressors that trigger him being an asshole won't be as dangerous.
All I want is my family back. Some mild sense of stability in this incredibly unstable world. I know, that's what everyone wants. I know I'm lucky to have what I have. I'm sorry.