Vicky Clarke (amongtheheather) wrote in openveinwriting,
Vicky Clarke
amongtheheather
openveinwriting

The little details of my life don't matter in the grand scheme of things, I know this. But I feel I have to talk about them regardless, because otherwise I might go mad.

Tom is still staying with his sponsor. The two week mark for him to evaluate things was last Sunday, and none of us were quite ready. Today it's been three weeks, and today in particular things have been a lot harder, what with it being Father's Day. The kids are... they're almost ready to trust him. But him knowing they still don't breaks his heart. I can hear it in his voice and see it in his face when he talks with them on their video calls. He says he's doing better, and he looks better. But both his sponsor and his therapist think he needs more time away, and he's trying to be okay with it.

Today was hard. Wednesday- Caleb's birthday- will be hard. Even though I'm still not particularly comfortable with the idea of him being around... because I'm still getting over the trauma of it myself... I don't want it to be the end of our family. Maybe I'm weak, maybe I should want to file for divorce and be done with my marriage... but I still love the idiot. He's never truly gotten over his own traumas, and I really do believe if he starts working through them... the stressors that trigger him being an asshole won't be as dangerous.

All I want is my family back. Some mild sense of stability in this incredibly unstable world. I know, that's what everyone wants. I know I'm lucky to have what I have. I'm sorry.
Tags: [fandom] original: the other side, [who] lora bonwell
Subscribe

  • (no subject)

    Have you ever looked back at your life and wondered how... how you made such a fucking mess of it all? When I got engaged to Tom, Gran was cautiously…

  • (no subject)

    The other night... after everything, once Tom was gone, everyone was uneasy. My sweet Katie wanted to stay in bed with me, which she hasn't done…

  • (no subject)

    I had to take time off work. I got an earful from Peter about it, about how in this time our clients need us more than ever and how can you put that…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for members only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 0 comments