God, it was ten years ago ... it doesn't feel that long, honestly. But ten years ago, Gil showed up in the camp and asked me to marry him all over again. And you know what, if I had the chance to go back in time and talk to my younger self, I'd tell her to go for it. Yes, we crashed and burned. But we're still friends. We still care about each other. And I learned a very crucial lesson about giving up a part of yourself for someone else. There's a difference between making sacrifices and sacrificing yourself. That I didn't know. And I do now.
Ten years later, I'm divorced, no where near Vegas, and enjoying a life I never thought I'd lead. And, I have a proposition in front of me. No, not a proposal. It's an interesting one, one that I'll admit I've thought a lot about for a very long time. What ifs are an incredible turn on. But the question is, when does a what if become a we should have done this and stopped being stupid.
So. That's what I'm thinking about while I sit on my porch, watching the sun set. I did talk to Gil today. I mentioned to him what I'm being cryptic about here. He laughed for five minutes and then said if it worked out, it would be worth it for me.
He's a good man. And I'm glad we could split up before we forgot how much we care about each other.
An old friend showed up the other day. Unbeknownst to me, he came up to Seattle on vacation and on day 3 finally decided to come by and say hi.
When I asked what the hell he was doing in Seattle of all places, he gave me a "you're the dumbest human on the planet" look.
And then, you know.
It's been an interesting couple of days.
Italy ... here I come.
If I don't come back, don't look for me. ;)
I have a bottle of that pre-made mudslide mix. And fuzzy socks. And leggings. And I'm going to spend the weekend watching sitcoms and ignoring the news. And maybe staring at pictures of Rome. ;)
The museum is standing in support of the kids who are walking out today. We opened early, have breakfast ready to go, and we're offering a free, safe space for parents and kids as the day moves on.
And idiot who thinks a trained person with a gun is safer than no gun at all has never actually owned a gun. Has never worked in law enforcement. Has never worked the site of a school shooting ...
We need people who are going to make sense of all of this mess and it's insulting to me that it's our children that are doing it. But we're here. And all I can do is stand and support them now, in the best way I can.
Rome in June, here I come. What? I couldn't resist the allure of Rome and Romance. ;)
I'll pretend that two weeks in Italy didn't just destroy a good chunk of my savings. But it will be so worth it. I haven't allowed myself to explore my own life in a long time. Even now, it's so strange to realize how single I am after all those years tethered to Gil. He joked last night that he should come with me and then realized how dumb that was and it's good we were just chatting over google cause I'd have hung up on him.
He's my friend and always will be. But this is my time to be ... well ... the woman I became while our marriage was ending.
But I won't lie ... it still makes me a little bit sad that we aren't doing this together. I'm allowed to mourn that.
Rome it is. It's been forever since I've been and while time on a sandy beach sounds glorious, Rome is just a special place. I've never been while being single ... and I'd be lying if there wasn't some romantic hint of myself that was hoping and praying for a whirlwind Italian romance. ;)
It's been years since I just ... went on vacation. Since I just let myself pick a destination and go somewhere.
So the real question is ... where?
I've narrowed it down to Hawaii or Rome. But honestly, I can't decide which. A coworker is pushing a European cruise on me, which also sounds intriguing, but I'm not sold yet ...
So, I was working with a field trip this morning. And of course, it's teenagers who are all sappy because it's Valentine's Day. Well, I assumed so anyway. But then this group of young women came in today with t-shirts that all say "Happy Validation Day" and they were giving out cards that said things like "You're really smart." and "You're stronger than you think you are."
During a break in our exercises, one of them came up to me and showed me this - and when I stopped laughing, I had to share it here.
Have a good day everyone!
Twenty years ago, I kicked and screamed every time I was assigned a case with a kid. I'm not good with them, I'd whine. Now, I spend my days up to my elbows in the mess of science, teaching kids how cool it is.
I never expected this was where I'd end up. And I'm so glad I did.